Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Six Years

                 Six years of marital bliss! Where has the time gone. I guess it's a good thing that time has gone by so quickly--means things are going well. :) I remember being such a young bride, 19 years old by 5 days baby!, and being so excited to get married. I remember sitting in my parents dodge ram truck and driving on the freeway towards the San Diego temple and coming around the corner and seeing it in all of its glory. I about peed my dress from excitement! It was a typical perfectly beautiful Southern California day and I was in heaven the entire day. Nothing could have ruined that day. We really did have a lot of fun at our wedding, both at the temple and especially at the reception. I remember running through everyone as they blew bubbles at us and getting in the car and thinking that this is it, I am no longer a Bateson, I am forever a Dickinson. A Mrs. Joshua Dickinson. I couldn't have been happier. I remember driving in the car away from them all and stopping in the parking lot of a nursery to take off the cans and the flags and all of the other things that they decorated our car with and giving Josh a hug and being so incredibly happy. I had never had such a feeling of contentment, peace, and joy as I did on that night on the way to our Honeymoon. What a great day.
                  I love to celebrate our anniversary as the years pass and remember that beautiful day. Josh has been so good to me. He puts up with my incessant talking and ranting about who knows what, he always offers me sound advice, and he always tells me I'm beautiful, even if I'm nine months pregnant and huge, or deathly ill and dying. :) Sometimes I think he's lying, but he always makes me believe he's not. He is perfect for me in so many ways and I often count my blessings that we get along so well and that I found him so early in my life.
                 I remember meeting him two weeks after getting to BYU, a scared Freshmen who definitely was not planning on getting married so young. I remember he walked into the Canon Center, the freshmen dorm cafeteria where I was working as a student cook, and I looked at him and thought, he's cute! He gave me this look out of the corner of his eye and I was smitten. Our shifts overlapped by one hour, and that's all it took for the magic to happen. Our first date we went to the World of Dance performance that BYU puts on and felt like we had been lifelong friends. Everything just clicked. I remember him whispering things into my ear throughout the performance and always finding ways to touch my hand or my leg. He was quite the charmer. Our second date was a movie night at his apartment that went horribly wrong, complete with an ex-girlfriend I happened to sit next to and everything. Josh was kind of a manwhore in HS. He'll even tell you that himself, so I don't feel bad saying it. haha He was almost cut for good. But he redeemed himself by showing up at my apartment and playing makeup hardcore.
                 I kept telling my mom that we were just friends, and for a while we were. But she told me that she knew I was in deep when I said that. We just kept dating and getting to know one another and eventually he invited me to meet his family at Christmas, but I was scared. I didn't know if I was ready for that and I think my mom was a little bit worried too since she told me she didn't think it was good idea. So I told him no. It just happened to be a weird Christmas break at BYU that year where we happened to get 2 weeks off for Christmas instead of one, and as I was with my family that first week I kept thinking about Josh and how I really wanted to go. I missed him. So, against the wishes of my wary mother, I called him and told him I wanted to come. He had a free ticket from a friend he used to work with at the airport so he scrambled to get it for me. Before I knew it, I was on my very first airplane headed to Seattle.
                 Long story short, I got really sick on the plane ride, I don't do well with bumpy, turny, stuffy rides of any short, especially the kind where I'm not near a window or air and with a greasy haired kid slumped over me the whole 2 hours. So when he met me at the airport, I was a little nauseous. I remember thinking how beautiful Washington was and that even the bark on the trees has green on them. For a girl from the High Deserts of Southern California, this was a new world. Little did I know that someday I would live here and come to love the green, but hate all the rain every single day of my life. j/k--sorta.
                So I got to meet his family incredibly sick and clammy and pale. I also have a blood sugar problem so I was in great shape. His mom had made eggs and I was so thankful. I changed into my pj's right away, which she later told Josh meant she knew I'd fit right into a family of 5 boys. :) I was sooo nervous, but they were so nice to me and made me feel at home even though I was still a little homesick myself, I was only 18 afterall. Such a baby, but oh so wise for choosing this family to marry in to. Josh and I had the best time, even if his dad did have to come downstairs while we were cuddling and watching a movie at midnight and tell us that the Holy Ghost went to bed at 10. haha Memories. Little did we know we would someday live there and bring our first baby home there and rock her to sleep at midnight on that very same couch, minus his dad. Trust me, I wished I could have gone to bed with the Holy Ghost at 10. We have so many memories there.
                  That week is what sealed the deal. From there on out when we got back to BYU Josh was always trying to talk me into marrying him. Kinda sad really. I always told him that I wasn't ready, that I wanted to go on a mission and that I was too young. I had never really dated, only two weirdos who don't even really count. How did I know if this was the real thing. I prayed and prayed for answers, but I had no feelings either way. I remember going to BYU Devotionals and being so frustrated that the Lord wouldn't answer my prayers, at least that's how I saw it. Even in my Patriarchal Blessing it never said anything about marriage or children. I remember getting it at 14 years old and thinking, "Oh man, I'm never getting married. I'm just getting lots and lots of cats." Little did I know.
                  One night, 4/4/06--I'll always remember it because 4 is Josh's favorite number, we went out to a movie and to get Josh some new shoes, he still had his shoes from his mission--they were sad, and somehow we ended up talking to his bishop about some of my fears having to do with my family and things, and the spirit was so strong. His Bishop talked about how his wife was 18 when they got married and that it's the best decision they ever made. That helped me, along with other things. Josh and I went on a walk after that and out of nowhere he says, "Can I ask you a question?" I thought, sure! Sneaky little devil. "Will you marry me?" Uh.........it took me awhile to answer because I really wasn't sure. So I said yes, thinking that if it didn't feel right after I could always back out. Terrible, I know, but honest. So as we walked I was quiet and was thinking about what had just happened and that I had just said yes when this overwhelming feeling of assurance, and joy, and all of those feelings that you get when you make the right decision, but amplified times 10, came over me. I suddenly got so excited! We had planning to do. I knew that this was right.
                   And thus began our engagement. We had ups and downs with planning the wedding since we had no idea what we were doing, but through it all we were just so excited to start our lives as a married couple, together. Our wedding day was long awaited and it did not disappoint! It was all we had hoped for and almost everyone from both families got to be present for the sealing and reception, what a miracle that truly was. We were given excellent counsel in our sealing that we sometimes forget but try to remember and live by. Looking back now, I probably would have chosen an entirely different dress, theme, colors, etc. for our day, but I would never change the feeling that was there or the person that I married. Even though marriage came a little earlier than I was planning, the Lord allowed me to make the decision for myself and made sure that it was to the right person. It was really was a miracle how it all came together.
                   I couldn't have asked for a better person by my side, a better father to my children, and a better partner in life than him. We really are perfect for each other. At BYU, when I felt like dating other people, I would always compare them to Josh, and they never measured up. The same holds true today. No one holds a candle to him in my book. Especially for all of the crap he puts up with from me. I'm a pill. But you already knew that. ;)
                   We definitely have our fights. And they really are fights. Josh hits me.....nah, I'm just kidding. He doesn't hit me. I was testing you to see if you're still reading this novel. Congratulations if you are. You have stamina my friend. But we do have some pretty good verbal "conversations". I don't think it's normal for couples to not fight every once in a while. I dare say it's good for a marriage to have disagreements, even fights. I think it helps to get things out in the open, I'm way more honest in a fight than I normally am in the day to day stuff. And sometimes it feels good to yell a little at someone you know loves you no matter what. I'm know I'm probably going to be smitten for saying that, but for us, it's like a cleansing process. And making up afterward makes it all worth it. We get everything on the table, get a little upset, take some time to reflect, and then come back softened and with a renewed love for the other person. We definitely have things that are ongoing "disagreements", i.e. the fact that he doesn't seem to know where the laundry hamper is or how to open it and put his clothes inside, but they are minor in the big scheme of things and we both know it.
                        In the end, we really are truly happy, and even if there are low times, I know that we can always be happy again. We both went into this knowing that once we were married, sealed for time and all eternity, there was turning back or backing out. We're in this together forever. I sound like a seminary video. Awesome. That's when you know you've made it my friends. :)
                       Really though, it has been six years of marital bliss because I'm in it with someone that I love more than I ever thought I could love someone. He has given me so much to be joyful about in life, not just happy, but joyful, and I'm so glad I get to share it all with him. He is the best person I know and I'm so thankful to have him as my confidant, friend, and husband. There's no one else I'd rather it be than him.
                     And that's our story. Two kids, lots of pound gainage--won't tell you how much, and many "heated conversations" later and we're still in love with each other. That wonderful, comfortable, contented love that comes from being with someone who knows you so well, it's scary. So until next year, since that's about how often I blog, I bid you adieu. May you all be as blessed in love as I am. :)

Our Engagements

In my front yard, taken by my momma with my dad's old, film mission camera.

So young and in shape. :) At the BYU waterfall by the bell tower, also taken by my momma. 

The Wedding

After just coming out of the temple.

Haha So true.

Leaving through the bubbles on our Honeymoon. :)


Recent Seattle temple session trip.

Families are Forever.

P.S. This is mostly for my records since I don't really keep a written journal and since I'm realizing more and more that I can't remember anything past a day ago, welcome to having two toddlers. So thanks for reading it if you did, but I understand if you didn't. :)