Saturday, June 25, 2011

Happy Father's Day!

So I just to had to give a shout out to my hubby, his dad, and my dad and thank them for being great fathers, even if it is almost a week late. There are so many people that don't get good dads, and I'm lucky enough to have at least 3 of them in my life.

My husband is the best dad. He loves his kids so much and helps me with them whenever he can. He definitely is not just a baby daddy, but really is involved with and loves his kids. I hear these women complain about how their husbands don't even know how to give their children baths and I think to myself how lucky I am. He is the father I always wanted for my children.

I'm glad we're an eternal family.

My father-in-law is also a great dad. He helped to raise 5 great boys, 4 of whom have served missions or are serving missions and 2 of whom have gotten married in the temple to wonderful, amazing, beautiful women :) (right Kimberly?). He is a man of God and won't compromise on his covenants and personal standards. He has like 5 church callings, no kidding, and is a faithful servant of the lord. I am grateful he raised me a good man. And he tells some awesome lawyer jokes. :)

My dad is a wonderful man as well. To be honest, growing up I didn't really understand or appreciate him very much. He is pretty private and went through hard times with his first marriage, which I think made him more guarded, even with his own family. But he loves his girls, yes all 6 of them, fiercely. And I know that he has a testimony of the Gospel. He lives it daily. I am thankful that he hung on through those hard years and that he taught us girls simple truths that will stand the test of time. He is a great man and I love him. Plus, he has the oddest sense of humor, which I think is hilarious. What a stud! Look at that smile!

(BTW--That's my dad's mom and grandma in this picture, which makes my great grandma and my children's great great grandma! Shabam! I skyped with her the other day, not sure if she knew what was going on, and she told me, "I'm 96 years old." She's so cute. We share the same b-day. July 31st. It's also Harry Potter's b-day. Pretty awesome.)

So Happy Father's Day to all the men and daddy's in my life. I am so blessed.

Happy Father


Sophie pointing at her poo. Alright!

And Sophie turned 2, which is unbelievable and totally believable at the same time. It definitely seems like it's been 2 years, and to be honest it feels like she's been 2 for awhile (she's so advanced you know, must of gotten my genes :) ), but then when I think about the fact that I have a 2 year old, I think, "No way! I'm still a kid myself!" (which is mostly true). Sometimes I hate to tell people my age because they freak out, "You're sooo young!" I don't judge you for being old, so stop judging me for being young and choosing to have a family. Yes I chose to get married and then have children, not the other way around. P.S. Your mom.

But Sophie really is such a good girl. She is one of the most loving kids and is so concerned about the welfare of others, especially her brother. We tried to get pictures of them and everytime I set Noah down to get his picture she would freak out! "Momma pick up Noah! Momma hug Noah! Momma get Noah!" said with snot and tears running down her face while screaming. She never freaks out like that and tantrums are rare if nonexistent, so this was something new for me. Sweet, but kinda of frustrating when trying to get cute pictures done. :)

Noah is still the same sweet, precious baby. He sleeps through the night (thank the Lord, literally) and giggles and coos like no other. He even smells like a baby, Sophie never had that smell, and I just can't get enough of him. I truly love being a mother. I feel like this is what I was born to do. It's really hard to find the balance of me time and time with kids and the hubby and church and everything else we have going on in our lives. But to me this is 10,000 times better than a real job. I'm thankful to Josh for sacrificing for us, although I know that my job is hard too. I truly see why the women are meant to stay at home, we're cut out for it and I have no shame in saying that. I'm ok with the fact that men and women are innately different. We're supposed to be because we balance each other out. I have strengths that Josh doesn't and vice versa. Can you imagine if we were both the same one way or the other?

Anyway, sorry my posts are always so long, I don't do them very often so when I do they're ginormous! Like a spewing of all my thoughts over the last few weeks.

To end, here are some shots I took with my awesome Christmas present, I think I'm getting better. My dream is to be a professional photographer someday (along with opening up a clothing store for nursing mothers and toddlers, I hate not being able to wear dresses while nursing!). I love taking pictures. Capturing that moment. It's art.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

We're Doin' Alright

So now that I have two kids and have had them for 6 weeks and 3.5 days, I can safely say that we're doin' alright. It seems normal to have 2 kids now and I love the mother it's helping me to become. Don't worry, I still have "those" days (the ones where you don't think you'll make it out alive), but overall things have transitioned relatively smoothly. It's always hard once your mom leaves, moms make everything better, but once she was gone and I knew that it was me or me who had to take care of things, I somehow found the strength and determination to do it. Funny how that always happens. We're always so much more capable than we think we are.

But Noah is still the same sweet baby he was when he was born. All babies are beautiful, precious, and sweet, but some just seem a little bit more so than others...if you know what I mean. ;) He seems to already have the patience of a saint, he will wait for me while I take care of Soph--even if he's starving, he loves when you talk to him, and his needs are very basic. If he's dry, fed, and comfy, he's good to go. It might just be my confidence as a second time mom, but things seem so much easier this time around. I feel like I'm getting spoiled and that baby #3 will be our wild child since my first two have been so easy. Or maybe their teenage years are going to be their wild years--who knows! I don't know which I'd prefer, crazy babies, or crazy teens. How bout neither. :) We'll see, no one gets that lucky. haha

Soph is still great as a big sister. She genuinely loves her brother, and it's so wonderful to see her affection towards him. Apparently I wasn't so loving to my twin younger sisters, although I'm perfect so I don't know if I believe my mother's horror stories, but I'm grateful she is such a good girl with him. Rarely do we have to remind her to be gently, although she doesn't show too much interest in wanting to hold him yet, which might be a good thing right now. She has already developed so much more in her language and communication skills, probably out of necessity since I ignore her if I can't understand her because I'm so busy doing other stuff. She is so smart and the things she knows and understands amazes me everyday. Children are so much deeper than I ever understood and it truly is a testament to what Heavenly Father means when he says we should be more like little children. They are so forgiving and pure, no inhibitions or ulterior motives (yes, I just googled how to spell that word, totally thought it was with an a!), yet they aren't stupid. They still understand things so well, they just haven't been corrupted yet.

I'm doing alright too. Noah sleeps like a champ, so that hasn't been too much of an issue this time around. This time it's feeling guilty for always having the tv on to keep Sophie busy while I feed Noah or clean. It's not having the energy or time, or I should say not making the energy or time, to read my scriptures period, forget studying them. It's not feeling like I'm really communicating with my Heavenly Father and always remembering him. Most of the time I say my prayers in bed and fall asleep half way through. I feel lost sometimes, like I don't really know who I am anymore because I never have the time to think about it or worry about it. I am the dishwasher, the caretaker, the bathgiver, the diaper changer, the feeding machine, the food maker, the laundry doer, the mess cleaner upper, etc. etc. Don't get me wrong, I am so blessed with great friends and family who help me, especially my sweet husband Josh who always folds the clothes for me, but sometimes I think, should I have waited longer to get married and start a family? I never really had me time. But then I look at the rest of the world and my friends from HS who took that "me time" and aren't anywhere near as happy and content as I am and I think, I am so thankful I married the person I married in the right place and at the right time. And I know my children came when they were supposed to because I prayed about it and felt it was right and then Heavenly Father blessed me with healthy, beautiful babies. There is still a balance to everything and I take me time when I need it, like right now, but I know that my family is shaping me into the person I want to become more than anything else could. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason as I get older and see patterns and the causes and effects of things in my life. I know that Heavenly Father is indeed aware of me and my struggles and that he knows I'm doing my best. I think I feel guilty when I know I'm not doing my best. But sometimes even that's ok, it's impossible to do your best in ever area of your life.

I'm pretty sure Josh is doing ok too. I'm sure he feels like all he does is work, work, work! He is wonderful and always supports me and sometimes listens to me when I rant and rave about life, poor guy. ;) He is a great daddy and loves his family. He shows us everyday by working hard for us and by making sure we're taken care of. He is my other half and I couldn't do this without him.

Overall, we're all doing great. Noah is smiling more everyday and is starting to try to tell us all those thoughts we can see brewing in his mind. I just know he's going to have so much to say once he learns how to say it. I am so thankful for all I have, and I know that at this point in my life I am doing exactly what I should be--being a mother. As Noah gets older, I can start doing all these projects I have in my head that I want to accomplish, but for now I'm just happy to eat, shower, have a clean house, and maybe even a little makeup on. I'm so lucky and I count my blessings if not daily, then at least every other day. ;) haha

Here are a few pictures to show off how cute my kids are. =0)

So beautiful.

Easter baskets! I feel like such a grown-up/mom now that I'm the one who puts the eater baskets out. Sorry to burst your bubble if you still thought the easter bunny was real. :)

Daddy with the kiddos.

Mr. Man showing his personality.

Feet. I've been practicing with my awesome Christmas present that Josh got me. I'm doing ok, but there's definitely room for improvement. Photography is a lot harder than it looks, that's all I have to say.

My cute little darling!
Sophie on Easter.

Mr. Man.

Bath time--he looks a little psychotic here, but we swear he really is so cute!

Anywho, that's my life in a nutshell the last few weeks. Hopefully I'll be back again soon my adoring fans!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

He's Here!

Noah Joshua Dickinson was born on 4/1/11 at 12:41 pm weighing in at 8 lbs. 6 oz. and measuring 19 3/4 inches in length. Phew! I never thought I had 8 lbs. plus of baby in me. :) He is healthy and strong and has one of the sweetest spirits. He is sleeping for 2-4 hours at a time, hallelujah! And he eats like a champ. We feel so blessed! My mom was here for a bout a week and a half helping us transition to having 2 kiddos. I miss her terribly and was so glad she was able to share this experience with me.

Sophie has adjusted to being a big sister beautifully. She is so sweet with him and always gets very concerned when he cries. She shares her blankets with him, although promptly removes them and says, "Mine!", we're working on that one, and is always rubbing his head or being sweet with him in some way. She has been craving more attention, but since she was not cuddly in the least before, I am loving it.

Labor, delivery, post-partum stuff has all gone so much smoother this time around. I don't know if he's just that good of a baby, or if it's Josh and I's confidence this time around, but it seems a lot easier. I keep waiting for everything to go to pieces, but so far so good. I know that day will come when Josh will come home and I'll just break down in tears because it's been one of "those days," but so far I love having two kids. I know what people mean now when they say their family is complete. We've been waiting so long for him to join our family, and now he's finally here. Yay!

I'll share my labor story later, nothing too exciting, although it was only like 4 hours, holy cow! And can I just say that I love epidurals. :) I so admire those women who do it naturally, but for now I am content with my pain meds.

My mom with the babes. (Love this picture!)

Here's me right before going in to get induced. Looking at this, I could believe there was an 8 pound baby in me. Whoa mamma was I big! Thank goodness I've gone down way quicker this time around, another pleasant surprise to being a second-time mom. Although those after labor contractions were quite the nasty little things. And yes, I surrendered and gave in to the temptation of Pitocin. And on April Fools, nonetheless, poor kid. I was already dilated to a 4, was 100% effaced, but was having 0 contractions and had been like that for about a week. I was dying. Or at least I thought I was. It literally felt like he was going to fall out when I walked, sat, breathed. It was probably a good thing I had him when I did otherwise I might have had to deliver a 9 pound baby. Then I probably would have died, for reals.

Here's my two awesome children loving on each other. How lucky am I?

Anywho, we're all doing great. I'm dealing with the baby blues a little, sometimes I just start crying and get incredibly sad for no apparent reason. But it's so much better than last time. Maybe it's having my own apartment this time around and not having to experience first-time motherhood in a house full of boys and other people, maybe it was having my mom here with me and not just visiting during the day, maybe it's my experience as a second-time mom, but whatever it is, I have immediate joy from this little man. He is a gentle soul and I know he was sent to our family, to me, for a reason. Let's just hope we do right by him. Lucky little devil. :)